I do alot of actions in my life that i'm not proud of. but yet i continue doing them. Every time after i have sex, i say to myself, " that should last me a month or longer". But every time the time i can go gets shorter and shorter, and i find myself convexing into my desires.
I wish i could control myself, to step away from the cigarette smoke, not wanting another one. To walk away from a boy in his bed calling my name.
But the fact of the matter is, i can't.
They way the nicotine coats my throat while the smoke blows into clouds in front of me. The way the penetration rips into your insides, giving you a sense of pleasure. I have become accustomed to such ways of life.
I don't regret my decisions, only the fact that some people choose to follow me.
*I have friends that started smoking, drinking, or throwing away their dignity because they have seen my choose to do so.
As a friend, i can't stand to see you do it. I might be happy at the beginning that we have something we can do in common, but i will regret that you aren't aware of the fact you're doing it to make me feel happy instead of yourself. If you feel like smoking weed, then you smoke it. Want a drink? take it. Sex? sure, fuck the kids brains out.
But don't follow me, to be following me. I'm your friend. I walk to your side, hand in hand. Not in front of you nor behind you. I will help you through whatever it is you lust, but when your life is as fucked up as mine is, don't blame me for your pathway to hell.
* Just take a moment, and think to yourself-if the only time you do any of this, or talk about it, is in front of me, then you mustn't truly want this, you just want the attention myself and others will give you.
I wish i could control myself, to step away from the cigarette smoke, not wanting another one. To walk away from a boy in his bed calling my name.
But the fact of the matter is, i can't.
They way the nicotine coats my throat while the smoke blows into clouds in front of me. The way the penetration rips into your insides, giving you a sense of pleasure. I have become accustomed to such ways of life.
I don't regret my decisions, only the fact that some people choose to follow me.
*I have friends that started smoking, drinking, or throwing away their dignity because they have seen my choose to do so.
As a friend, i can't stand to see you do it. I might be happy at the beginning that we have something we can do in common, but i will regret that you aren't aware of the fact you're doing it to make me feel happy instead of yourself. If you feel like smoking weed, then you smoke it. Want a drink? take it. Sex? sure, fuck the kids brains out.
But don't follow me, to be following me. I'm your friend. I walk to your side, hand in hand. Not in front of you nor behind you. I will help you through whatever it is you lust, but when your life is as fucked up as mine is, don't blame me for your pathway to hell.
* Just take a moment, and think to yourself-if the only time you do any of this, or talk about it, is in front of me, then you mustn't truly want this, you just want the attention myself and others will give you.
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